The affair

A man returning home a day early from a business trip got into a taxi at the airport. It was after midnight. While en route to his home, he asked the cabby if he would be a witness. The man suspected his wife was having an affair and he intended to catch her in the act. For $100, the cabby agreed. Quietly arriving at the house, the husband and cabby tiptoed into the bedroom. The husband switched on the lights, yanked the blanket back and there was his wife in bed with another man. The husband put a gun to the naked man's head.
The wife shouted, "Don't do it! This man has been very generous! I lied when I told you I inherited money. He paid for the Corvette I bought for you. He paid for our new cabin cruiser. He paid for our house at the lake. He paid for our country club membership, and he even pays the monthly dues!"
Shaking his head from side-to-side the husband slowly lowered the gun.
He looked over at the cab driver and said, "What would you do?"
The cabby said, "I'd cover him up with that blanket before he catches a cold."

Awwwww...just next door was a drunk coming home from a long night out. He wondered how he could get in bed without her
going totally schitzo on him, so he snuck in there and slipped up under the covers from the bottom. He then proceeded to
become a 'face machine' and pleasure her with the tongue...and as he did, she moaned and withered along until finally,
she reached her personal nirvana. He went to the washroom to scrub his face and, behold; there stood his wife, shaving her
legs on the stool. He asked, "What are YOU doing in HERE???"
She said, "Be quiet, or you'll wake your mother in the bedroom."