hollywood squares

jedishon Thu Oct 07, 2010 2:34 pm

Hollywood Squares:
These great questions and answers are from the days when the Hollywood Squares
>game show responses were spontaneous, not scripted, as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host asking the
>questions, of course.
>
> Q. Paul, what is a good reason for pounding
>meat?
>A. Paul Lynde : Loneliness! (The audience laughed so long and so hard it took up almost 15 minutes of the show!)
>
>Q. Do female frogs croak?
> A. Paul Lynde : If you hold their little heads under water long enough.
>
>Q. If you're going to make a parachute
>jump, at least how high should you be? • A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.
>
>Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
>A. George Gobel : Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.
>
>Q. You've been having trouble going
>to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
>A. Don Knotts : That's what's been keeping me awake.
>
>Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
> A. Rose Marie : No wait until morning.
>
>Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
>A. Charley Weaver : My sense of decency.
>
>Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say 'I Love You'?
>A. Vincent Price : No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.
>
>Q. What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'?
>A. George Gobel : I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.
>
>Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?
>A. Rose Marie : You ask me one more growing old question Peter , and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.
>
>Q. Paul , why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
>A. Paul Lynde : Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
>
>Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
>A... Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.
>
>Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
>A. Rose Marie : Ralph , the pin boy.
>
>Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other?
> A. Paul Lynde : Tape measures.
>
>Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
>A. Rose Marie : Unfortunately Peter , I'm always safe in the bedroom.
>
>Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
>A. Marty Allen : Only after lights out.
>
>Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail..
What will a goose do? A. Paul Lynde : Make him bark?
>
>Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what
>would you give birth to?
>A. Paul Lynde : Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.
>
>Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything
>wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
>A. Charley Weaver : It got me out of the army.
>
>Q. It is the most abused and neglected part
>of your body, what is it?
>A. Paul Lynde : Mine may be abused, but
>it certainly isn't neglected..
>
>Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa
>put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
>A. George Gobel : Get it in his mouth.
>
>Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period
>of time, your wife or your elephant?
>A. Paul Lynde : Who told you about my elephant?
>
>Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible
>for its sex?
>A. Charlie Weaver : I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him
>
>Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions.
>What are they?
>A. Charley Weaver : His feet.
>
>Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two
>things you should never do in bed?
>A. Paul Lynde : Point and laugh
>
>WE DON'T STOP LAUGHING BECAUSE WE GROW OLD, WE GROW OLD BECAUSE WE STOP LAUGHING!